How to help your child heal December is a traditional season of holidays and
family. Advertisements, holiday television specials and cards show scenes of
children with glowing faces; brightly lit Christmas trees surrounded by wrapped
packages; and Christmas carols echo from every radio and store sound system. But
for children exposed to domestic violence, the holiday season may be just
another reminder that things in their home do not mirror society’s image as a
happy holiday season. While statistics may indicate actual domestic violence
calls to hotlines and police departments may drop due to continued close
proximity of the abuser and his family; experts believe the actual acts of
violence may increase. Add to that the 2020 pandemic’s impact on shelters,
activities outside the home; and lack of victims’ interaction with those who
might offer support or help, and in fact, pile onto this already stressful time
for a family facing domestic violence. Experts also tell us that 50% of all
children are injured in domestic violence situations. About half of those are
victims of child abuse; while the other half are children who are injured while
domestic violence is occurring, either accidentally or as the child attempts to
separate his parents, or protect one parent from the other. So what are children
who are exposed to domestic violence feeling? • Separation anxiety. Young kids
may be afraid to be apart from their parents. Older kids may worry about being
away from home—they may fear that a parent might be abusive when they are at
school. • Guilt. Older kids may feel guilty that they couldn’t do anything to
stop the abuse, especially if they are physically bigger than the abuser. •
Denial. Kids see things concretely—abstract thinking develops over time. So kids
who don’t see the abuse firsthand may try to believe that it’s not happening. •
Mixed emotions. Abusers are often nice to some or all of their children. “That’s
part of the manipulation of the abuser—to have allies throughout the household,”
Bernstein says. “Kids can love and hate the same person at the same time. They
have to understand their feelings.” • Apathy. Acting out isn’t always
aggressive. It can also take the form of apathy or lack of connection. “They can
detach from the overwhelm,” Bernstein says. • Anger. Older kids can be angry at
the protective parent for not leaving an abuser sooner. Children don’t always
understand the psychological tactics abusers use to trap a survivor, or that
without money or support, the parent may have had no place else to go. Domestic
violence is often generational, meaning one generation of parents teach the
behaviors to the next, perpetuating the cycle. To that end, it is critical to
educate young people so important to stop the cycle.
China is changing. A recent article in the NBC network on line addition discussed the case of a 13-year-old boy in Shanghai. Bu Yunhao was being bullied in his middle school, avoided on a class trip, called too girly and made fun of for the pitch of his voice when as class monitor he attempted to perform his duties. He was accused of spending too much time with girls and having alternative agendas when befriending boys. While Yunhao's classmates may have stopped bullying him, the Chinese government recently decided to define masculinity themselves. A recent announcement from the government states the government will “encourage masculinity” primarily by encouraging physical contact such as boxing. Authorities are also condemning pop cultural icons that don’t fit the prescribed mold while critics state they feel the government definition emphasizes what many consider to be outdated and damaging stereotypes for men and boys. According to an articvle published in NBC News "Boy...
Comments
Post a Comment