Is infidelity a form of domestic violence? Researchers say yes. (Homework Assignment for June 24 & 25.)

A study conducted by Monash University in Melbourne, Australia, found infidelity may have more in common with physical and psychological abuse than anyone has previously thought.

Graduate students conducted interviews with individuals affected by extramarital affairs. Study findings indicate unfaithful partners share many of the same characteristics as abusive partners.

The cycle of events and reactions is similar in both. In both cases, a partnership may experience a build-up of tension, followed by the introduction of pain (either abuse or unfaithfulness), followed by a short period of guilt and reconciliation, which may include a short resolution period, after which the cycle starts again with renewed tension. As with abuse, cheating can become a habitual pattern in a relationship, possibly compounding the emotional trauma it creates.

This pattern mirrors the cycle of violence experienced by domestic violence victims.

Unfaithful partners show little regard for their betrayed partner. While they may experience guilt and remorse as abusers, both may justify their actions, deny their actions or otherwise refuse to take responsibility for their behavior. In both cases, the betraying party experiences some short-term remorse, but generally shows no concern about their partner’s feelings or well-being.

A betrayed partner may experience the same trauma as a victim of domestic violence, researchers found. Betrayed partners often express feelings of worthlessness and low-self esteem, hopelessness, dependency, vulnerability, lack of control, and shame. Many victims – both of abuse and infidelity - report they lose sight of reality and start to blame themselves for their partner’s actions. Betrayed spouses experience anxiety, inaccurate perception of reality, depression, and poor self-esteem.

To that end, infidelity fits under the category of emotional or mental abuse.

Now please answer the following questions.

Chris Alcorn Catena MA CDVP

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