Safety Planning: Being Emotionally Responsible in Uncertain Times (PAIP Assignment for 4/1 and 4/2)

Networks across the world have confirmed that these are unprecedented times. COVID-19 precautions have most of us locked out of work and locked in our homes. 

Being at home has its plusses and minuses. 

The plusses are we have an opportunity to spend time in the place where a great majority of our income goes; we get a chance to focus on being in the space where many of our most beloved people and most emotionally meaningful belongings are; and we get an opportunity to improve the space that deserves the best and most of our attention.

The minuses are sometimes home isn't what it should be; sometimes it can feel more like a prison of expectations and a place where all of our disappointments have their own rooms.

Add to that for those of us who are used to working (or being out and about) and having some measure of control over how we spend our time, this can be an especially grueling experience. An experience that may present us with stressors that bring out the less productive sides of our personalities. 

PAIP Manager Chris AC gives us a point to ponder the she found in an article about anger management for those with PTSD. In the article, Dr. Tull and Dr. Gan state that, "Anger can be a very destructive emotion. Therefore, it is important to find a number of different ways of managing anger when it occurs. Some strategies may work better in some situations than others. The more prepared you are, the less off-guard you will be when you experience intense anger."

Okay, based on what the doctors recommend, the way to deal with anger is to be prepared for it. That means we don't get mad when it shows up. It means we need to be prepared before it shows up. 

We know better than anyone, at some point, in some way, somebody will do something that will trip our anger wire. Instead of being angry about the wire being tripped and being angry at the person who tripped it, we can build a fortress of prevention techniques around the wire, not leave it exposed, and when it is exposed choose to go into accountability mode than vent-and-blame mode.

To be prepared and empowered when it comes to our own anger, we need an anger management safety plan.  AIMS is a simple yet effective tool that can assist us with becoming more emotionally responsible at managing our anger in a productive way that does not cause escalation. AIMS stand for Anger and Irritability Management Skills. AIMS isn't a bunch of pre-loaded techniques. It's actually very open-ended and requires self-reflection and figuring out what works best for you when you're at risk of not being your best. 

A picture of an AIMS worksheet is below.

Let's take managing our emotions as seriously as the government is taking protecting us from this virus.  

Homework Assignment (Due 4/4/2020 before 8P) :

• Review the AIMS worksheet at this link.
• Think about your answers to the questions.
• Recall a scenario when your reaction to a situation caused the matter to escalate.
• Use I statements (For example, I became angry when my partner complained about the gift. Do not use blame language; for example, my partner made me angry because she complained about the gift). 
• Answer the questions on this Google Form.

SolEK, MS, CFLE, CDVP