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The Roller Coaster of Change: Surviving the Stages



For those of us who have been intentionally doing what it takes to change a habitual behavior in our lives, we know that there are many ebbs and flows, ups and downs, reasons to give up, and reasons to press on.

When going through the change process, it is important to know what the different stages of change are, and know how those stages tend to feel.

First, let's review the stages of change.

Stage 1: Pre-Contemplation:
You're dealing with the consequences, but not really caring, or feeling accountable enough to make a real move. It's the "People are talking, but I kinda don't care, kinda not aware" stage.

Stage 2: Contemplation:
You have not fully accepted that there is an issue; however, you're still not completely convinced or empowered to seek change.

Stage 3: Preparation:
You have accepted that there is certainly a problem and that the answer is making changes. This is the planning stage.

Stage 4: Action:
You've initiated change, sometimes in baby steps, but it's change no less.

Stage 5: Maintenance:
You're maintaining change, even taken larger steps.

Stage 6: Termination:
You've fully accomplished change. You have been transformed.

As words on the page, The Stages of Change do not seem like that big of a deal. Yet, when we consider the feelings that come along with the stages, that's when we begin to better appreciate why many people decide to go down in flames than make changes.

Second, let's review the feelings that The Burnie Group says accompanies the Stages of Change.

Stage 1, Pre-Contemplation: Shock and Denial
You're in shock. You're denying (in many instances doing a lot of lying) and are just not really nice to be around because you're accepting what should be unacceptable.

Stage 2, Contemplation: Mild Anger
You're frustrated, embarrassed, and secretly wondering how you got yourself into this jam. And if you're not the most accountable person, you're wondering how you let someone else get you into this jam.

Stage 3, Preparation: Detachment
You're overwhelmed and feeling helpless. This is a critical stage. You know there's a problem. You know you gotta fix it. But change is hard, and it's even harder than you imagined because of all the feelings. You're having to detach from what you are familiar with and embrace the unknown. Scary stuff.

Stage 4, Action: Dialogue and Understanding
You've gotten past the worst of the fear. You're inspired. You have a better understanding of what change requires and are willing to do what is necessary to build the support needed to make the change. (For those of you who are not sharers, sometimes this stage is internal. Internally, you're having different thoughts. Internally, you're experiencing clearer understanding).

Stage 5, Maintenance: Acceptance
You have a desire to move forward, go farther. You've made some changes. You're feeling even more inspired. You're invested. You have accepted that change is necessary and that even more change will be needed to accomplish the goal.

Stage 6, Termination: Transformation
You've established your own personal meaning and significance. You're doing it for you and your reasons. You've empowered yourself; you've made the change. You've terminated the old life. You've been transformed into a new creature.

We all know that knowing what to expect makes most things easier in life. Hopefully, this post will be the information and motivation you need to keep doing the right thing and make the changes that will make your life even more worth living.

-SolEK, MS, CFLE, CDVP



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