Skip to main content

The Roller Coaster of Change: Surviving the Stages



For those of us who have been intentionally doing what it takes to change a habitual behavior in our lives, we know that there are many ebbs and flows, ups and downs, reasons to give up, and reasons to press on.

When going through the change process, it is important to know what the different stages of change are, and know how those stages tend to feel.

First, let's review the stages of change.

Stage 1: Pre-Contemplation:
You're dealing with the consequences, but not really caring, or feeling accountable enough to make a real move. It's the "People are talking, but I kinda don't care, kinda not aware" stage.

Stage 2: Contemplation:
You have not fully accepted that there is an issue; however, you're still not completely convinced or empowered to seek change.

Stage 3: Preparation:
You have accepted that there is certainly a problem and that the answer is making changes. This is the planning stage.

Stage 4: Action:
You've initiated change, sometimes in baby steps, but it's change no less.

Stage 5: Maintenance:
You're maintaining change, even taken larger steps.

Stage 6: Termination:
You've fully accomplished change. You have been transformed.

As words on the page, The Stages of Change do not seem like that big of a deal. Yet, when we consider the feelings that come along with the stages, that's when we begin to better appreciate why many people decide to go down in flames than make changes.

Second, let's review the feelings that The Burnie Group says accompanies the Stages of Change.

Stage 1, Pre-Contemplation: Shock and Denial
You're in shock. You're denying (in many instances doing a lot of lying) and are just not really nice to be around because you're accepting what should be unacceptable.

Stage 2, Contemplation: Mild Anger
You're frustrated, embarrassed, and secretly wondering how you got yourself into this jam. And if you're not the most accountable person, you're wondering how you let someone else get you into this jam.

Stage 3, Preparation: Detachment
You're overwhelmed and feeling helpless. This is a critical stage. You know there's a problem. You know you gotta fix it. But change is hard, and it's even harder than you imagined because of all the feelings. You're having to detach from what you are familiar with and embrace the unknown. Scary stuff.

Stage 4, Action: Dialogue and Understanding
You've gotten past the worst of the fear. You're inspired. You have a better understanding of what change requires and are willing to do what is necessary to build the support needed to make the change. (For those of you who are not sharers, sometimes this stage is internal. Internally, you're having different thoughts. Internally, you're experiencing clearer understanding).

Stage 5, Maintenance: Acceptance
You have a desire to move forward, go farther. You've made some changes. You're feeling even more inspired. You're invested. You have accepted that change is necessary and that even more change will be needed to accomplish the goal.

Stage 6, Termination: Transformation
You've established your own personal meaning and significance. You're doing it for you and your reasons. You've empowered yourself; you've made the change. You've terminated the old life. You've been transformed into a new creature.

We all know that knowing what to expect makes most things easier in life. Hopefully, this post will be the information and motivation you need to keep doing the right thing and make the changes that will make your life even more worth living.

-SolEK, MS, CFLE, CDVP



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

China attempts "masculine" mandate

China is changing. A recent article in the NBC network on line addition discussed the case of a 13-year-old boy in Shanghai. Bu Yunhao was being bullied in his middle school, avoided on a class trip, called too girly and made fun of for the pitch of his voice when as class monitor he attempted to perform his duties. He was accused of spending too much time with girls and having alternative agendas when befriending boys. While Yunhao's classmates may have stopped bullying him, the Chinese government recently decided to define masculinity themselves. A recent announcement from the government states the government will “encourage masculinity” primarily by encouraging physical contact such as boxing. Authorities are also condemning pop cultural icons that don’t fit the prescribed mold while critics state they feel the government definition emphasizes what many consider to be outdated and damaging stereotypes for men and boys. According to an articvle published in NBC News "Boy...
Post a Comment
Read more

Violence: An American Tradition (PAIP Assignment for 5/27 and 5/28)

This week's lesson addresses misconceptions about violence and gender roles.  Hopefully, by this time you will have watched the video "Tough Guise: Manhood, and American Culture" featuring Jackson Katz. Building on the idea that some of our thoughts and expectations are ingrained through history, television, movies and advertisements, please watch the following one-hour HBO award-winning special. Violence: An American Tradition (Presented by HBO) After watching the video, be prepared to discuss on June 3 or 4, what beliefs these presentations may have dispelled for you and what new ideas they may have created. Once you have completed watching the video, to let facilitators know,  please follow this link .
Post a Comment
Read more

Identifying Triggers for Bad Behaviors (PAIP Assignment for 5/6 and 5/7)

   There is a good reason the small piece of metal on a gun and the event or action which causes us to instantaneously react to something are both called triggers. Both can create bad outcomes and change situations for the worst in the blink of an eye. In the Ted Talk of Judson Brewer: A Simple Way to Break A Bad Habit: https://youtu.be/-moW9jvvMr4, Judson discusses the human reward-based learning system in which our memories form habits.  We use this formula to feel a certain way; reach for a comforting act; and feel rewarded. In a diet, we feel stressed, or angry, or hungry; eat a cookie; and feel satiated. In our relationships, when we feel upset because we don't feel understood, or heard, or loved; we may act in a negative way; and feel good from the momentary release of energy. Whether a cookie or a release of energy, we reinforce the behavior that a certain act i.e. eating, screaming, punching a wall or breaking a dish; is a great way to resolve a fe...
Post a Comment
Read more