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Technology and Domestic Violence



Having everything just the way we like it is kind of the way we like things. We live in a world that values customization. So, it's easy for some of us to want to program everything from our phones to our relationships.

 And, it's not unusual for technology to be a part of our relationships. Everything from face timing, to scheduling our dates, to recording special moments, to creating videos and movies and pictures and songs can all be done from our devices. In our intimate partner relationships, we often use technology to enhance and increase our communications and express our love.

 Another major bonus is that technology allows us to be in two places at once. We can be in the place we physically have to be in and also be in the place where we emotionally want to be in, all at the same time.

 Technology and relationships for many of us is a win-win, until it isn't. In a balanced, healthy relationship, technology is a gift that allows us to stay connected. In an imbalanced, unhealthy relationship, technology can be dangerous because it allows us to stay connected.

 The news is riddled with stories about how people have used technology to make the lives of others miserable. People have used technology to bully, harass, threaten, and overwhelm (sometimes to the point of suicide).

 People have used technology to stalk partners, track them down, lie in wait, and exact their revenge.

Technology has been used to extend the reach of power and control so that acts of digital violence could be committed.

 If you are someone who is crossing the very thin line between technology being used as a gift to technology being used as a weapon, please get help. Commit to sending only necessary messages that do not include vulgar language, name-calling, or threats. And if that plan fails, take a break from communicating with the person until you can figure out how to communicate respectfully.

 Keep in mind that if you're struggling with this issue as sender or receiver, digital abuse is a serious matter in the court of law. Attorney Nicol Gersch confirms that "digital abuse is one of today’s most prevalent forms of abuse; while most people might think this is strictly cyberbullying, using technology as means of non-physical assault is actually a major component of domestic violence cases in this tech-savvy age."

Please don't persuade yourself into thinking that abuse via technology isn't really that serious because it's not hands-on. Digital abuse is a serious act of violence and is a crime that results in real consequences. 

 It is each our individual responsibility to use the power technology gives us for good, not evil.

 -SolEK, MS, CFLE, CDVP

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